


You're My Playground Love

by electricsheepdreamer



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: 1980s, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, High School, Kissing, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25191991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricsheepdreamer/pseuds/electricsheepdreamer
Summary: Will Graham was used to being the new kid in school...A 1980's Catholic boarding school ChillyWilly AU
Relationships: Dr. Frederick Chilton & Will Graham, Dr. Frederick Chilton/Will Graham
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a fun little playlist to go with the fic that I made :~) 
> 
> https://8tracks.com/crystalpalacedrag/lips-like-sugar

Will Graham was used to being the new kid in school and by the time he matriculated to Grafton Academy as a junior, he had cultivated a nonchalant attitude cloaked in mysteriousness. “I promise, this is the last time Will,” his father said when he dropped him off at the long-established campus occupied by ivy bestrewn brick buildings. Luckily, he’d only missed a couple weeks of the fall semester, but still, the sudden change was tough to handle and his father’s half apologies had gotten old. On one hand, Will resented his father for moving him from school to school, but on the other he knew how hard he worked to pay for him to attend the often pricey private schools that would prepare Will for a first-rate university. He was torn between indignant teenage rebellion and an adult gratitude. Will was mature for his age; having been raised by a single father forced him to do the stereotypical roles of a mother, leaving him to grow up much faster than most of his peers. Because of that, it was hard to relate to others his age and he never really had enough time to anyway.

“Hey,” said Will to the dark haired kid laying on one of two twin beds in the cramped room of Will’s new dormitory. The boy tilted a girly magazine away from his face and looked up in surprise.

“Um, hey,” he said as he sat up. “You my new roommate?”

“Yeah, I’m Will Graham.” He drew closer and reached his hand for a friendly shake.

“Cool. Brian Zeller, but everyone calls me Zee.” He shook Will’s hand briskly. “I’m torn here, man because I’m stoked to have a roommate, but having a dingle was bitchin’.”

“A dingle?” Will gave him a confused look.

“Yeah, when you have a double room but you’re the only one living in it. A double single.” Zee sat back down on his bed and leaned against the wall. “Only juniors and seniors get single rooms.”

“I guess I missed out on that then.” Will tossed his bag on the empty bed and sat down next to it.

“Oh, you a junior?”

“Yeah.” Will surveyed the room. “So what’s the deal with this place?”

“With Grafton?” Zee scrunched up his face trying to figure out best the way to describe it. “Well, you know, there are a lot of yuppies. Most of them are nice and everything but they don’t really even need this place. Legacies, man. They’ll end up at Ivies anyway. And um, the people that run this place? Total assholes. You get caught doing one thing against the rules and you get a demerit. I mean, _anything._ I got a demerit for not having my shirt tucked in last week. Bullshit, dude.”

Will smirked. He loved the challenge of breaking the rules without getting caught and he’d gotten good at it. Moving from one strict school to another gave him a lot of practice and by then, he was an expert at stealing altar wine and secretly smoking cigarettes.

“Ugh, and Morning Prayer sucks, man. Is this your first Catholic school?”

“Nope.” Will stood up to start unpacking his things, opening his bag and dumping everything out on the bed.

“Okay, well then you know. Breakfast is at 7:15, Morning Prayer is at 8:00 everyday, and we have Mass on Saturday _and_ Sunday at 8:15. Sweet extra fifteen fucking minutes they give us to sleep in. But then you have the rest of the day to do whatever.” Zee looked over at the mess Will had made and saw a pack of cigarettes peeking out from under a pile of boxer briefs. “Hey, dude, you can’t have cigarettes here.”

“I know.” Will picked them up and hid them under the mattress. “This isn’t my first time at the rodeo, Zee. I know what I’m doing.”

Zee paused, shifted his eyes, and whispered, “Getting caught with butts is automatic detention.”

“Do I look like I care?” Will chuckled. “Chances are I won’t be here long enough for graduation anyway.”

“Oh,” he shrugged at how cryptic his new roommate was being. “Well, just be careful, man.”

Will pay no heed to the advice as shouts of “Lights out!” began echoing down the hall. Will looked at his watch. “Lights out already? Jesus, it’s only nine o’clock.”

“Careful with the “Jesus” shit around here,” Zee chided. “I thought you said this wasn’t your first time at the rodeo.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll tone it down. Are you Catholic?” Will smirked at him.

“No.”

“Well then, calm down for Christ’s sake.”

Zee laughed. Okay, so his new roommate was a little crass and a bit of an asshole, but he had a sense of humor and he’d be lying if he said the kid wasn’t cool. “Okay, well I’m gonna try to get some sleep. We’ve got a nice long Mass to look forward to in the morning.”

Both Zee and Will groaned as their alarm went off. Will had a restless night’s sleep, trying to get used to his stiff mattress and roommate’s loud snoring. After pulling on their uniforms, the two of them made their way to the dining hall for a quick breakfast before having to walk to the chapel. Will preferred to eat alone, but figured it’d be less of a hassle to sit with his roommate rather than explain that it wasn’t that he didn’t like Zee, it was that he didn’t like _anyone_. Another chipper student made his way over to their table and plopped down.

“Hi, I’m Jimmy.” He reached a hand out and Will shook it without any enthusiasm. “You must be Brian’s new roommate.”

“That’s me.” Will kept his head down, scooping bland bites of oatmeal into his mouth. He turned to Zee, “I thought no one called you Brian.”

“Well, I’ve known Brian since before he became Mr. Cool and got himself a fancy nickname.” Jimmy wobbled his head with a mocking self-satisfied expression.

“Get bent, Jimmy.” Zee rolled his eyes. “We went to middle school together.”

“Rad,” said Will indifferently. Zee and Jimmy looked at each other dubiously and shrugged as Will’s eyes scanned the room. Will drowned out Zee’s chatter and Jimmy’s sarcastic interjections as he watched other students josh around and make quick glances at him. If he were any other new kid, he’d feel self-conscious at the judgmental rubbernecking, but he’d been through it before and his imperturbable expression left the other boys disinterested in planning all the different ways they could haze him. Will felt the odd sensation of being watched and as his eyes finally reached the last corner of the dining hall, he saw a brown haired boy sitting by himself staring back. As soon as Will caught him, the boy averted his eyes and shifted in his seat, yanking a book that was sat next to his tray and opened it haphazardly. Will smiled as the boy realized the book was upside down and quickly rotated it to hide his face.

“Hey,” Will interrupted the conversation next to him and motioned to the lonesome boy in the corner. “What’s his deal?”

“Who, him?” Jimmy squinted at the boy and Will nodded. “That’s Frederick Chilton. He’s kind of, I don’t know –“

“A dweeb,” Zee interrupted, “and _such_ a goody two shoes.”

“And a teacher’s pet,” Jimmy scoffed.

“And a total dickweed.” Zee and Jimmy suppressed their laughter after seeing Will’s incredulous expression. “I mean, he’s harmless. I feel kinda bad for him actually because his only two friends graduated last year.”

“I wouldn’t want to spend _my_ senior year alone,” added Jimmy sympathetically. “But he makes it hard to like him when he’s such a know-it-all in class. Plus, I heard being made captain of the fencing team last year has gone to his head quite a bit. He was the first junior to be named captain in fifty years.”

“Hmm.” Will kept his eyes fixed on Frederick, who has still hiding behind his copy of _The Picture of Dorian Gray._ Zee and Jimmy looked at each other with puzzled expressions, completely baffled by Will’s sudden interest in Frederick Chilton of all people.

Frederick rushed to the chapel and entered through the side door to a small room where the other choirboys were putting on their white cottas. As he pulled on his own, he couldn’t shake the sight of the new kid locking eyes with him after getting caught staring at him. He was so _enigmatic_ ; his blue eyes were made brighter by the contrast of his dark hair, cut short at the sides with soft curls growing at the top of his head. Frederick was drawn to his aura, but had the sinking feeling that the other boy wouldn’t want anything to do with him; he just seemed too cool. Frederick was usually confident going into mass, being one of the more talented singers and leader of the baritone section, but today, the new kid was going to be in the pews, possibly watching him. Frederick prayed that he’d be sitting in the back and completely indifferent to the service.

Brother Michael stepped in to gather the boys, handing out their music folders as they walked one by one to the choir stalls, arranged in their sections, baritones right in the middle. As lead baritone, Frederick was on the highest riser, making him more prominent, as he was one of the tallest boys in the choir. He felt some relief knowing that since the choir stalls faced the opposite wall, as opposed to the pews, there was a very good chance the new kid wouldn’t see him. Well, unless he sat in the furthest most pews on the right, those that gave students full view of the singers. But it was a slim chance.

As students shuffled in, the choir began to sing and Frederick focused on the sheet music in front of him, despite having his part memorized. He even sang softer than usual out of some fear that the mysterious young man would hear his voice in particular. Frederick froze when he saw Jimmy Price and Brian Zeller lead their new acquaintance all the way down the right side of the first pew, the only place in the chapel where one could see the entire choir in full. Brother Michael glared at the faltering baritone section as he conducted them, having suddenly lost their most confident singer. He slid his hand up in an attempt to direct them to be louder, looking directly at Frederick, who quickly snapped out of his stupor and resumed singing his part. Frederick gave his conductor an apologetic look only to have Brother Michael roll his eyes and shake his head at him. The choir finished up their song with a resounding _Per cúncta semper saécula,_ as Father Kelly took the pulpit and motioned for those sitting in the pews to rise. Frederick quickly glanced at them, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw the dark haired boy staring idly at a stained glass window that depicted the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

“Dear God Almighty, who has brought us to the beginning of this day, September 8th in the year of our Lord 1985,” Father Kelly prayed authoritatively, “defend us in the same by Thy mighty power, that this day we may fall into no sin, but that all of our words may so proceed, and all our thoughts and actions may be so directed as to do always that which is just in Thy sight. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.”

Father Kelly’s prayer was met with a resounding _Amen_ and he motioned for his congregation, which was there by requisite, to sit down. Frederick again looked over during the sermon to see that the boy was now slouching in his seat with his chin down. Brian Zeller elbowed him ten minutes later when he saw Father Kelly glare at his newest student, forcing the boy to shake himself awake.

The Father certainly loved the way his voice sounded, as Mass dragged on, comprising of lengthy passages from the bible reverberating through the cavernous space of the chapel and short, repetitive group hymns about how awesome God is and how much Jesus suffered for our sins. Despite being a Catholic himself, even Frederick grew weary of Mass by the end of the first hour, fidgeting in his seat and periodically checking his watch. Finally, Father Kelly invited the students to line up for communion, segregating them into a few lines in front of aiding priests to move the process along. Frederick was always one of the first boys to take the bland wafer in his mouth followed by a sip of bitter wine, making it a point to be incredibly precise when he made the sign of the cross after receiving the body and blood of Christ. He sat back down in the choir stall and watched the rest of the students proceed; he searched the crowd trying to find the boy he was increasingly becoming attracted to, finally settling his eyes on him; he was sat in front of Father Kelly on his knees with his mouth open, waiting for the wafer to be placed on his tongue. The sight of it made Frederick’s cheeks flush with embarrassed desire. The Catholic Church wasn’t welcoming of homosexuality, something Frederick was constantly reminded of, but it was damn hard to suppress himself at the sight of this beautiful young man on his knees and ready to receive. He laughed under his breath when he watched the boy flail his hand lazily to barely emulate the sign of the cross. Frederick wondered, _who the hell is this guy?_

Frederick took his time in the back room of the chapel disrobing and putting his music away until he was the only one left. He felt melancholy as he often did after a weekend mass; the boys were allotted enough free time to lay about and socialize, getting a taste of the liberty that public school kids took for granted. Frederick liked the structure and order of his Monday through Friday routine, but on the weekends? Well, he spent them alone in his room, reading novels and poetry, doing his homework, and fretting over his future. He was a senior. He was going leave Grafton in merely nine months and after that? College. And after that? Medical school. That was the plan; a plan meticulously devised by his stern father. He wanted another doctor in the family, a son he could brag about at conferences, not some failed poet or other such artsy fartsy nonsense. Frederick walked out into the crisp air, breathing in the unique fragrance of fall, ready to go back to his room.

“Hey, Frederick.”

Frederick whipped around to find the boy he was ogling just 20 minutes earlier leaning against the chapel’s brick wall, one foot propped up against it behind him. Frederick stared at him dumbfounded, his mouth slightly agape. “How do you know my name?”

“A little birdie told me.” Will tilted his chin down so that his crystal blue eyes peeked over the brim of his Ray Ban wayfarers. “I’m Will Graham.”

“Hi, Will Graham.” Frederick stuck out his hand, mentally scolding himself for addressing him by his full name. _Ugh, that’s so dorky!_ Will gave him a sturdy handshake that made Frederick’s body tingle with glee. “You’re new, huh?”

“Guilty as charged.” Will smirked. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I’m sure it was all unfavorable,” uttered Chilton, rolling his eyes as he so often did. “I’m not the most popular guy in school.”

Will smiled at him and moved from the wall closer to Frederick. “If I’ve learned anything, it’s that the popular kids’ opinions are bogus.”

“Oh, really? I find that a little hard to believe coming from you.” Frederick immediately regretted such a sarcastic remark tumbling out his mouth and he looked down at his feet. “I mean you just look really cool is all.”

“Whatever that means,” added Will. He crossed his arms and arched his eyebrows. “So, what’s there to do at _Grafton Academy For Boys_ on the weekend?”

“Ah, I might not be the best person to ask. I’m not very social.” Frederick wondered why he was divulging such private things to a complete stranger. “The other boys play soccer and stuff and…I don’t really know, I guess. I kind of stick to myself.”

“I could stick with you.” Will looked around him, noticing a path that snaked behind the chapel. “What’s that over there?”

“Oh, that? It’s just a little trail that goes through the forest preserve. It’s not very long. The school doesn’t want us going too far into the woods.”

“You wanna go for a walk?”

Before Frederick could even answer, Will was already walking, his hands in his pockets and kicking a small rock in front of him. Stunned, Frederick caught up to him feeling both elated and anxious, wondering why anyone would want to spend any time with him at all.

“Hold up!” Frederick asserted. He walked side by side with the dark haired boy but kept his eyes forward, not knowing what to say next. “Why are you spending time with me?”

“Do you not want me to?” Will turned his head to Frederick, studying his face behind the dark lenses of his sunglasses. “I can go if you want.”

“No!” Frederick said with the smallest hint of desperation. “I-I just meant why did you decide to even talk to me?”

“You looked like you could use a friend.” Will looked up at the trees, smirking. “I know the feeling.”

“Oh.”

“I move around a lot,” explained Will. “Making friends seems pointless because my dad eventually gets a job at another boat yard, which means another school and another reason to stick to myself. I don’t want to get too attached, you know?”

Chilton looked down at his feet, slightly confused. If Will didn’t want to make friends, then why was he trying to be his friend? “That makes sense.”

“My dad said this was the last time. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much, but if it’s true, then having a friend doesn’t seem like a bad idea, right?”

“Yeah,” said Frederick as he smiled and glanced at Will. He wished he could see his eyes; that he wasn’t hiding behind his glasses. _He probably does that on purpose._

“So, do you want to be my friend?” Will stopped and turned to Frederick, a big smile plastered across his face. It looked so soft and smooth and that growing a beard might yield patchy results. Frederick had the urge to stroke his face with the back of his fingers in that moment, but restrained himself.

“Yeah. Totally,” Frederick smiled back.

Will tilted his chin and pushed his wayfarers down the bridge of his nose just like he did when he introduced himself, but this time it sent a jolt of excitement through Frederick’s body. “Cool.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will and Frederick's romance continues to blossom

The weekend flew by. Will and Frederick spent most of it together, taking walks or sitting on the green talking about their common interests. A lot of it was spent laughing and goofing around. They both liked the same music: The Smiths, Yaz, Echo And The Bunnymen. The list went on. They liked the same literature too; Frederick asserted that _A Separate Peace_ was a better book than _The Catcher In The Rye_ and Will disagreed _._ Will countered that _Brave New World_ was better than _1984_ and Frederick disagreed. They agreed to disagree on both counts. Somehow their class schedules never came up, so Frederick was both surprised and elated when Will walked into his advanced English class. Frederick’s face flushed as Will sat down next to him and thought, _Wow, he really is smart._ He was the only junior in the class. Will was dragged up to the front of the room by Brother Jeffery to be introduced to the rest of the students, looking disinterested but flashing a quick smile at Frederick as he sat back down at his desk.

That day’s topic of conversation was William Faulkner’s _As I Lay Dying_ , a complicated and unusual book that the class wasn’t thrilled to be examining, except for Frederick of course. He was always enthusiastic about every assignment, especially as he grew increasingly aware that his college years were going to be spent immersed in the sciences. He wanted to revel in every minute of the humanities before bidding them adieu for the rest of his academic career.

Brother Jeffery took his place at the front of the class to begin his lesson. “Alright, we’ve spent a lot of time focusing on the male characters, especially Darl, so let’s shift to the female characters. Motherhood is a big theme. Does anyone have any thoughts on how Faulkner views it?”

As per usual, most of the boys looked down at their notebooks, avoiding Brother Jeffery’s gaze so as not to be called upon. Frederick’s hand shot up immediately, as it always did. Brother Jeffery sighed and motioned his hand. “Yes, Frederick?”

“Well, I think for the most part, Faulkner is saying that motherhood is a burden,” he declared. “Addie spends most of her monologue talking about how she didn’t want to be forced to perform the conventional duties of a wife and takes it out on her husband, who is a symbolic representation of all men.”

Brother Jeffery nodded his head in agreement, but cut Frederick off, wanting to force the other students to give an opinion. To his surprise, Will raised his hand confidently and Brother Jeffery called on him happily, “Go ahead, Will.”

“I agree,” Will declared. “That’s why she favors Jewel so much. He’s a reminder of her affair, something forbidden that good wives don’t do, especially in an incredibly religious community. It was her only act of rebellion against Anse and society’s pressure to confine women to patriarchal roles.”

The rest of the class whipped their heads at Will, flabbergasted that not only did the new kid volunteer an opinion on the first day of class, but that he was also so intelligent and articulate. Brother Jeffery beamed and looked at the rest of the class, clearly impressed.

“Mr. Graham here has been in class for all but five minutes and has already risen to the top. All of you better get yourselves in shape for the rest of the year.” Brother Jeffery crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows. “Alright, who’s next?”

The class grumbled and waited for someone else to be the next person to raise a hand. Frederick looked at Will in astonishment, his heart thumping in his chest. The crush he had intensified tenfold, especially after Will turned to wink at him while wearing a devilish grin before focusing his attention back to the front of the class.

The remainder of the period passed quickly, with Will backing up Frederick on every observation he made, starting his sentences with “I’m with Frederick on this” or “I agree with Frederick” or “Frederick makes a good point.” By the end of the hour, Brother Jeffery was thrilled at the amount of class participation, as Will’s passion energized the other boys to try to one-up him. Of course, the only other person that could keep up with Will was Frederick and their back-and-forth conversation left the other students reeling. The bell rang loudly, signaling the end of the day and the boys shuffled out of the room. Will and Frederick were the last to leave and as they made their way out the door, Brother Jeffery said, “Nice work you two.”

“Thanks for backing me up,” said Frederick as they made their way down the hall. “I usually participate the most out of everyone and I’m pretty sure they’ve gotten sick of it.”

“Well, they’re a bunch of lame-o’s then.” Will popped his sunglasses on as they left the building and loosened his tie. “Wanna see something cool?”

“What?” Frederick squinted as Will walked ahead of him. “Is it going to get us in trouble?”

“Don’t be a dweeb.”

Frederick quickened his gait to walk at Will’s side. “Come on. Tell me.”

“It’s a surprise.” He smirked at Frederick. “Besides, you need to live a little.”

A mix of panic and exhilaration coursed through Frederick as he followed Will into the music building. There weren’t any classes in it on Monday afternoons; Frederick wondered if Will had some sort of clairvoyance or just decided to risk doing whatever it was he had planned in front of others. Will popped his wayfarers off and hung them off the collar of his sweater vest. As they traversed the many halls, Frederick grew increasingly anxious.

“What are – how do you know where you’re going?” said Frederick in a strained whisper.

“I did some exploring last night after lights out,” Will replied. “Good thing my room’s on the first floor, right? Plus Zee could sleep through a hurricane.”

“But how did you get in? All the buildings are locked after dinner.”

“I might know how to pick a lock.” Will looked over his shoulder and winked at Frederick, something he started making a habit of. Frederick secretly hoped he was flirting, but assumed he was reading in to it too much. Even if Will was interested in boys, Frederick didn’t want to risk making a move out of the fear that he’d be rejected, or even worse, told on. Not that he didn’t trust Will, but he still didn’t know much about him and maybe he wasn’t as open minded as Frederick hoped.

“You’ve been here three days and you already have the place figured out. I’m pretty amazed,” professed Frederick as they walked up to the third floor.

“What can I say? I’m amazing.”

They finally reached a door at the top of a narrow flight of stairs that read “Employees only” and Will slipped something out of his pocket. Frederick peered over his shoulder, but Will pushed him back playfully. It only took half a minute before he’d picked the lock open and the door was swung open, revealing that they’d reached the roof. The ledge of it was high enough that they couldn’t be seen from the ground, but Frederick stayed in the doorway, watching Will saunter out and sit on top of a concrete encased ventilator.

“What are you waiting for?” Will grinned at Frederick’s nervous expression.

“What if we get caught?” said Frederick with a strained voice.

“We’re not going to get caught,” he countered. “Really, why would anybody come up here?”

“I don’t know! To check up on it?”

“No one’s going to come up here. Come on, get over here.” Will patted the spot next to him and Frederick crept over the threshold and jogged over. “Atta boy.”

Frederick smiled, electrified by how close they were sitting. “I suppose you’re right. The chances of someone catching us are probably small.”

“Exactly.” Will reached into his pocket and pulled out a slim metal case and flipped it open to reveal cigarettes and matchbook. He stuck one in his mouth and left it dangling as he said, “Want one?”

“I don’t smoke. And you could get in big trouble if you get caught with cigarettes.”

“Well, I’d already be getting caught on top of the roof, so I might as well break another rule while I’m at it.” He lit the cigarette and took a long drag. “You’re a senior. You should be enjoying yourself more.”

“I am,” Frederick insisted unconvincingly.

“You’re a little uptight for someone who’s enjoying himself,” Will retorted, blowing a great plume of smoke up into the air above.

Frederick rolled his eyes. “I like school. That’s how I’m enjoying myself.”

“Well, you’re really smart so I can see why.” Will brought his eyes to Frederick’s and smiled warmly, causing Frederick’s heart to skip a beat.

“Yeah, I wish,” he sighed. “I’m only really good at English and humanities. I’m having a harder time with science and I need to get good grades if I’m going to major in pre-med.”

“Pre-med?” Will screwed up his face. “Why the hell would you major in that?”

“Well, my dad wants me to be a doctor which won’t be that bad, I guess. I can see myself being a doctor, but I’d rather do something else – a writer or something. I don’t know.”

“Hmm.” Will tossed his cigarette down and turned to Frederick, leaning closer to him. “I think you should tell your old man to fuck off.”

Frederick let out a defeated laugh. The thought of disobeying his father, let alone swearing at him, was completely out of the question. He’d be furious. “That’s definitely not an option.”

“It’s your life, Frederick. Why would you do something you don’t want to do?”

“Maybe I’ll end up liking it. Who knows?” Frederick grew silent and looked down at his lap. He watched Will’s hand creep onto his thigh and he jumped a little, jerking his head up. “What are you –“

Will put his hand on Frederick’s cheek and brought his face to him. Will tilted his head and placed a chaste kiss on Frederick’s lips. Frederick pulled away quickly.

“Will, I – what was that?” Their faces were still close and Will looked up, gazing into his eyes.

“Did you not want me to do that?” said Will softly.

“I thought –“

“You thought what?” Will drew back a little. “That I like girls?”

“Well, yeah.” Frederick furrowed his brows. “I just assumed –“

“I like _you_.” Will shrugged and smiled. “I don’t worry about labels.”

“Oh.”

“Can I kiss you again?” Will moved close once more, confident that Frederick would say yes.

Frederick nodded, amazed at what was happening. This boy walked into his life suddenly and in a matter of days turned it upside down. He was almost sure he was dreaming, but the soft lips on his felt too real. Elation washed over him, his heart racing as Will’s tongue brushed against his own. His first kiss turned into his first time making out. He never wanted it to end.

Will pulled him down so they were both standing and wrapped his arms around Frederick, kissing him for what felt like hours. Eventually they’d have to go to dinner, but until then they enjoyed the divine sensations of melting into each other.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will and Frederick receive some bad news

Days turned into weeks that gathered into months, fall giving way to a cold New England winter, making it hard for Will and Frederick to sneak away into the woods where they’d kiss and fondle each other for hours. Sometimes they broke into various buildings on campus and envelop themselves in amorous glee, but it never felt like enough. The fact that they were sinning in so many ways made their many rendezvous even more passionate. Being a good Catholic, Frederick was hesitant and forbid himself from doing anything more than French kissing and heavy petting, but it was enough for both of them. They had to be careful; they couldn’t give the impression to anyone else that they were anything more than friends and it was excruciatingly difficult not to constantly touch each other the way they wanted to, but there were always a few opportunities to do so. Will often put his hand on Frederick’s thigh under the table when they sat next to each other during meals, which always made Frederick shudder with both nervousness and anticipation.

It was an unusually warm February evening when Frederick heard a knock on his door. He grinned when he swung it open to see Will, but immediately his face fell when he saw how upset the boy looked.

“Will, what’s wrong?” asked Frederick as Will brushed past him and sat down on the bed. “Are you okay?”

Will hesitated and stared at his feet. His voice cracked, “I have bad news.”

Frederick pulled his desk chair in front of Will and sat down, his heart dropping at what he was about to hear. He didn’t want it to be true, but he knew exactly what Will was going to tell him.

“I’m moving.” Will choked back tears and continued, “to Georgia. He lied. He fucking lied to me.”

Tears brimmed in Frederick’s eyes, as his chest grew tight. Somehow he was able to push words out without sobbing, “When are you leaving?”

“March 1st.” Will couldn’t bring his eyes up. He cried quietly.

“But that’s –“ Frederick’s face burned as a tear streamed down his cheek. “That’s so soon. It’s –“

“Three days.” Will finally brought his head up and patted his face dry, inhaling deeply to keep himself from falling apart completely. “We only have three more days.”

Frederick shot up and closed the door. It was school policy that doors stay open if there’s more than one boy in a room, but Frederick didn’t care. It was a rule he refused not to break in that moment. Hurt and devastation crashed into him when his eyes found Will again. The sadness quickly gave way to anger. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he was getting his heart broken and he froze where he was, unable to take another step toward the boy that was causing him so much anguish.

He spoke quietly in an effort to stay composed, “Why do all the people in my life leave me? My parents left me here, my friends left and haven’t come back to visit me once, and now you’re leaving me. Do you know what the worst part of it is?”

Will was crying again silently save for his sniffling nose. Frederick couldn’t help that his voice steadily grew louder. “The worst part is that you came out of nowhere with your sunglasses and cigarettes, breaking rules and making me fall in love with you! I’m in love with you, okay? And now you’re going away to move onto the next lonely loser! I feel so stupid! God, I feel so fucking stupid to think I could be happy the way I’ve been happy with you. It was too good to be true! It always is!”

“Frederick, please –“ Will started desperately.

“No!” He was seething now. “I hate you! I fucking hate you! Just get out! Get out and leave me alone.”

“No. You don’t hate me and I’m not going to leave.” Will stood and moved to Frederick, pulling him into a tight embrace. “I’m not going to leave without saying ‘I love you too.’ Because I do, I love you and I didn’t want this. I didn’t think it was going to happen. I believed him. I fucking believed him. He said it was the last time.” Will paused and smiled. “And you’re not a loser, Frederick. I’m to cool to fall in love with a loser.”

Frederick was able to let out a laugh despite his melancholy as they held onto each other until their tears dried up, until they weren’t crying anymore. Will grabbed Frederick’s face and brought their foreheads together. “It wasn’t my choice.”

“I know,” murmured Frederick. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not your choice. It just isn’t fair. I love you.”

“I love you too,” whispered Will, as he brought Frederick in for a somber kiss. “I’ll write to you, okay?”

“Okay.”

They hugged once again, resting their heads on each other’s shoulders. Frederick looked at the time and saw it was nearing lights out. He pulled away and muttered, “You should go. Lights out is soon.”

“I wish I could stay,” replied Will.

“I know.” Frederick opened the door and Will shuffled out, keeping his head down to conceal that he was crying again. Frederick fell to his bed after shutting the door softly and sobbed into his pillow.

Three days had never passed so quickly. Will and Frederick tried to meet at their usual spots as much as they could, but it was hard during the school week. If only they had one last weekend. It was difficult for them to not look upset the closer the day of Will’s departure came. Zee was perplexed by his roommate’s dour mood and Brother Jeffery had to wrench opinions out of the two of them like he were shucking oysters with his bare hands. He hadn’t realized just how close the boys were and he felt sad for them. He found himself hoping that Frederick would regain his usual zeal soon as teaching the class had become tedious and he never expected to miss the voice of his annoyingly enthusiastic student.

When Will got the news that his father had arrived, he asked Zee to find Frederick as fast as possible. Chances were he was in his room. When the younger boy found Frederick’s room, he knocked quietly on the slightly ajar door and said, “Uh, Frederick? You in there?”

Frederick looked up from his homework to see Brian Zeller in front of him, a peer he’d exchanged maybe ten words with his entire time being at Grafton. “Yeah?”

“Will told me to get you. He’s leaving.” Zee stepped out of the way as Frederick bolted past him. “Okay. You’re welcome, I guess?”

Frederick ran down the several flights of stairs to the first floor to see Will standing outside his door, knapsack around his shoulder and duffel bag in hand. Frederick choked back tears when he reached the boy, out of breath and in disbelief that the time had come so quickly.

“I guess this is it then,” Will said. “Come on.”

Frederick followed after Will like he did so many times before; he always felt as if Will were just out of grasp. Maybe that feeling came from some fear that the boy would slip away from him; as if deep down he’d always known Will was going to leave him behind.

They walked across the green to the front of the school where Will’s father awaited in an old, beat up sedan. Will halted about 20 feet from the car and turned, dropping his duffel bag and pulling Frederick in for one last hug.

“I’m glad I came here,” he whispered in Frederick’s ear. He pulled away before their embrace looked anything more than friendly. “I’m glad I met you.”

Frederick exhaled and forced a smile to hide behind. “Me too.”

Will pulled out his wayfarers and put them on, flashing Frederick one last lopsided smile. He picked up his duffel bag and swiftly walked away, keeping his head down. Frederick saw his father motion at him to speed up, but he rebuffed the request. Will was always finding some way or another to rebel. Frederick watched him toss his bags into the back of the car and plunk down in the front seat, yanking the seatbelt on. As they drove away, Will looked back at him and gave a final wave, which Frederick returned. His throat burned and he felt like his heart was literally breaking. Now he understood why they call it ‘heartbreak.’ It seems hyperbolic until you experience it firsthand but once you do, you can’t think of a single word that could so perfectly encapsulate how much it hurts.

Frederick received a letter from Will every five or six days, which was always bittersweet; he felt a rush of exhilaration every time he saw an envelope in his mailbox, but still yearned for Will to be telling him the contents of them in person, rather than in his sloppy scrawl. Frederick could hear his voice in every word and often imagined how Will would look saying them. He always wrote back immediately, putting his cleanly written replies in the post the very next day.

Frederick hadn’t taken into account that it was school policy that the administration read every piece of mail that students were sent. He hadn’t taken into account that his correspondences grew more and more amorous the longer he and Will were apart. He hadn’t taken into account that he was so clouded by love and longing that their letters may have seemed a little _funny_ from an outside perspective until the day he was called into Father Kelly’s office. He entered nervously, wondering what he could have possibly done to be pulled out of class. He hadn’t broken a single rule since Will left.

“Hello, Father Kelly,” Frederick said timidly.

“Please take a seat, Frederick,” replied the Father as he motioned to the wooden chairs in front of his desk. “We need to have a little discussion.”

“I haven’t broken any rules Father, I swear.”

“We’re not here to talk about broken rules, Frederick,” he said sternly. “We need to have a talk about some letters from a former student.”

Frederick inhaled sharply, the stark realization dawning on him that his correspondence with Will had become increasingly questionable over time.

“These letters are somewhat disconcerting.” Father Kelly paused and took off his glasses, leaning forward to look Frederick better in the eyes. “Now, I don’t want to know anything, Frederick. I’m not looking for any confessions right now. You can do that within the safety of God’s house, but do I need to remind you about what the Church’s stance on homosexuality is?”

“No, Father. I know how the Church feels.” Frederick looked down in embarrassment. “I know those letters look bad, but I promise –“

“I don’t want to know, Frederick. Let’s just leave it that.” Father Kelly cleared his throat and continued, “But unfortunately, we’re going to step in and make sure the two of you won’t be exchanging any more of these.”

Frederick’s heart sank and he almost let out a cry of protest, but stopped before it could give him away for what he truly was. “I understand, Father. Can you, um –“

“Can I what, Frederick?”

“Um, does Will know that we can’t write to each other anymore?” Frederick said softly.

Father Kelly sighed and put his glasses back on. “Yes. If he hasn’t been notified already, he will be shortly.”

Frederick nodded and bit his lip to keep from crying.

“Are we clear on this matter?” Father Kelly stood and stared down at Frederick until he was forced to look back up at him.

“Yes, Father. Very clear.”

“Alright, then. You’re dismissed.” Father Kelly opened his door and shuffled Frederick out, giving him one last stern look. “I’ll see you bright and early for Morning Prayer.”

Frederick rushed out into the bright light of a warm mid-April day and rushed back to his room to wallow alone in his misery, rereading every letter Will sent him.


	4. Epilogue

Graduation day snuck up on Frederick. He was able to pull through his science classes with solid B’s, proving to his father that he was indeed prepared for a career in medicine. In the weeks that followed since he and Will were cut off, he spent his time immersed in studies and flipping through _Brave New World_ during his free time. He still couldn’t listen to The Smiths, but was coming back around to Echo And The Bunnymen; it was hard to listen to any music that reminded him of Will. Frederick knotted his tie for the last time at Grafton Academy in front of his mirror before leaving for the graduation processional.

After all of the seniors had put on their caps and gowns, they sat in alphabetical order in the front rows of the outdoor amphitheater of a nearby performing arts center where Grafton held their graduations. Frederick sat low in his seat as speaker after speaker took to the podium to wax philosophical on the importance of education and the bright futures every Grafton boy had ahead of them. Predictably, the valedictorian started his speech with, “Webster’s Dictionary defines…” yada, yada, yada; it didn’t matter. At last it was time for the students to line up and receive their diplomas. Frederick was closer towards the front of the line, his last name being Chilton and all, but it still felt like an eternity until he was called to the stage. He just wanted to get it over with so he could spend his summer withdrawn and mopey until the time came to leave for college and start a new life for himself. Maybe he could blossom, abandon the old Frederick Chilton and become someone completely different from the outcast he was at Grafton.

When Frederick heard his name, he marched across the stage, grabbed his diploma and shook Father Kelly’s hand, facing the audience for an opportunity to be photographed. That’s when he saw him: Will stood on the lawn behind the seated crowd, Ray Ban wayfarers on as usual and a lit cigarette dangling on his lips. Frederick’s mouth dropped open and he froze for a moment before he heard the next boy’s name being called, forcing him to move across the rest of the stage. He kept his eyes locked on Will the whole time and his heart skipped a beat when he saw him push his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose and wink like always. Frederick could see his wide smile and swore he could hear his laugh even though he was so far away. He grinned back and waved. Just as he did at their first kiss, Frederick could have sworn he was dreaming, but Will was still there waiting for him when he walked back to his seat. He never thought he’d see Will again, but there he was, impossibly and cheerfully, hands in his pockets and wayfarers glinting in the sun. He looked just as cool as the day Frederick first saw him across the dining hall and his words echoed in Frederick’s mind, _So do you want to be my friend?_


End file.
